Perfectly Useless

New Journal

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 04:30:34 GMT

For those who didn't know, my journal is now casual_escape

Yep. Check it.

Able to be Vince

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 01:26:03 GMT

So I began my little studio art class on Monday. So far it's been pretty cool. Most of the students are a bit younger than me, but that's just fine. I don't think I've had to say a word to any of them yet, so I suppose it doesn't really matter! The class itself is lovely, and the teacher is actually, well... a teacher. Ms. Jandl (Yon-dle) actually knows what she's talking about and is teaching us about things (even if I know a lot of what she teaches already, we get to actually make ART... something that my art teachers like to prevent usually).

So Monday we got this stupid assignment with marbles, and long sleepless story short I ended up not getting it done and freaking out for a while. I cried a lot because it put me in one of my "Oh man I'm a huge fucking failure and shouln't be allowed to live anymore," kind of moods. It lasted through Tuesday morning where I felt sick (hadn't slept in two nights save for random bits of nodding off and waking up ten minutes later) and for some reason refused to eat or drink or stop crying until the ride to school. Everything turned out okay, although it will hurt my grade a bit. We ended up doing some exercises with colored pencils that were pretty cool, and I'd like to play around with them some more.

Today was awesome though. We spent the morning on perspective (pretty much all stuff that I already knew, but it was good practice). We got to begin drawing a hallway, although I didn't get very far. I was having too much fun doing details in the ceiling. But!! Later on Ms. Jandl had a friend come in and pose for us to do some figure drawings. That was really nice, considering I never get to do those. We were just supposed to draw out the shapes of her body and stuff, but I drew out some pretty detailed little sketches, and the teacher didn't seem to mind.

After school I found that Christina had called me. We ended up cruisin' around town for a while, going the hill in the park near her house, and then just sittin' in her basement for a while. I told her about my art class, and she agreed to pose for me sometime! So that's good. I shared some music and showed her some random things online, and then she drove me home. I sent Ben a bunch of Momus songs and we talked about them. He seemed to reall enjoy those!

Speaking of Ben, I've really been enjoying talking to him lately. I'd like to call him this weekend if I get the chance (I'm supposed to call both Casey and Christina, which makes me feel bad because I wanted to invite Kat and Sam out to lunch one of the days). Dillon as well. I've had the chance to call him a few times lately, and that's certainly been nice.

And uh! Yeah! Stuff!

I'm goin' to bed.

When your boots are a-square-dancin'

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 18:20:44 GMT

So, not a whole lot has been going down recently.

Yesterday I stayed home and cleaned up the whole downstairs. I just sort of listened to some old music and did what I felt like. My phone was out, which kind of sucks, because I guess Danwell called me a few times last night. Oh well. I am really glad that I got the downstairs cleaned up, it's rather refreshing. Heh.

After that I sat around and waited until mum came home. It didn't really work out because I guess she decided to pick last night as the only night ever to stick around and get some dinner with friends. Hahaha. So I sat around waiting for her and got bored and went online. Dillon was online but was idle, so I sat there for a while playin' around online hoping that maybe he'd get back. Didn't happen, and mum didn't get home until real late, so my night was boring and full of waiting.

When mum got home she had some food for me. It was like 12:30 but I ate it anyway. Then I played with Jenna until she got tired (for like the third time), and decided to go up on the roof. I went up there and listened to "Either/Or" all the way through, then I layed in bed until about 3am.

For some reason I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping again I guess. When I finally fell asleep, which was sometime between 3 and 4 in the morning, I ended up waking up at like 7:30 and never falling completely back to sleep. I sort of forced myself out of bed this morning at 10. Hahaha.

Anyway... In about an hour or something I'm supposed to hang out with Matt. That'll be nice. I miss him.

Beep beep beep.

Corn Flakes Disease

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:08:29 GMT

Since I last updated, I:

- went to Chicago with my Humanities class. It was a blast, the museums were wonderful. It was so cool seeing so much famous art up close.

- went to High Cliff (our state park) with Ashley and Dani. Twice, actually. The first time was great, but the second time was better. We went off-trails and stuff. The only not-great thing was that Ashes managed to step on a syringe while we were on the "beach" (which turned out to be really gross). Not cool, hahah.

- On the plus side, there were boys with guitars there.

- went to the mall and Min Du Buffet with Casey, Cyndashia, Katie and Krystal. Had a blast. Ate way too much.

- saw Life Aquatic. That was really good. The way it was presented cinematically made me happy. So cool.

- bought "Demon Days." So lovely.

- had my finals for school. I passed every one with at least a C, and I got an A on one of them. I passed all of my classes, so that's cool.

- spent the last day of school with Casey.

- experienced the Slow Frog Incident. I shall never forget.

- signed up for a TAG (talented and gifted, hurr hurrrrr) Studio Art class over summer. I'm REALLY looking forward to that.

- got a super cute retro dress from Goodwill but don't really like how it looks on ME. But oh well.

- watched James and the Giant Peach for the first time since I was a kid. I was surprised at how much I hate small children who can't pronounce their R's. I wanted to send him VEWWY VEWWY FAW AWAY.

- had a dream that involved an (illegal) cult hit film where one watching could feel the tortures and repeated murduring of a redheaded girl in said film.

- found out that Casey can go to Chicago with us. We're going to have a fantastic time, I simply cannot wait.

- watched Drop Dead Fred with Casey. Again, I hadn't seen it since I was a small kid. I was surprised at how seriously amused I was by that movie. I laughed until it hurt, twice. ("THAT'S IT I HATE YOU!!")

- forgot to clean up a number of times.

- forgot to prep my room for painting. But I did sketch out my plans for all my walls. Quite exciting. I'll be doing that sometime in the next ten days.

- talked to my Jellybean on the phone for the first time in a long time. It was really, really nice.

And now I'm going to bed. Hopefully I'll start updating more frequently, and entries like this won't happen.

Bon sior mes copains. Je t'aime.

That kid straight up jacked our ball.

Fri, 06 May 2005 05:57:55 GMT

So I'm still sick, which sucks pretty bad.

Yesterday was really lame because of it. Phy Ed was the worst, although Kat ended up much worse than I was. Both of us ended up crying. Hahaha. Terrible.

Today I missed a French field trip because of it, so that's lame as well. I was rather looking forward to it, but that's okay. I'm just thrilled about Chicago next week, or the week after, or whenever. I keep forgetting.

Speaking of Chicago, mum recently reserved our hotel rooms for the summer family reunion thing. I'm pretty excited for that, now that I know we're going to be staying a couple of days. How wonderful.

I now have three tests to make up that I am aware of. One for Bio, one for Algebra and one for French. I'm a bit worried about the Bio one and the French one, but my Algebra grade is fine.

Speaking of Bio, I hope I'm not late turning in my summer school sign-up bit. I have to start that just like a week after regular scool ends. Also lame.

My moniter keeps dicking out on me like it always does. What a fucker. We really need to get a new computer/moniter/everything.

We're starting tennis in Phy Ed. That's cool. I totally fail at it, but that's nothing new. We were Kat-less today, but that's okay because she was so sick yesterday. If she were there today, I would have hit her.

We got like a C on our Speech. Tess told me so anyway. I kind of got angry but we pretty much deserved it. I hope the next thing we do in that class will let me bring my grade up. I also feel bad because I was kind of blaming the grade on Aaron, which I really shouldn't do. Silly me.

I really need to get to work on my art. I've been working on some things that I like, but there's so much I need to work on before I do anything else. It'll be nice to be able to do so once school is out. Except I'm supposed to get a job and go to summer school and learn to drive and stuff. I hate being busy.

So tonight I've decided to stay up all night. This'll be like the third recent sleepless Thursday night. That's silly. Hahah.

Only 17.5 more school days. How rad is that? I mean seriously. That's like three and a half weeks. And three of those days are finals, and like two of them are just winding down and preparing for finals. And one is the ever-so-much-fun yearbook signing day. Teehee.

Casey's parents are apparently going to be gone most of the weekend, so we're gonna chill or something over there. That'll be fun, unless she ends up with some booze. Hahaha. I don't think she realizes that I'm serious about my decision not to bother with drugs and alchohol. For one, I figure that I'm unhealthy enough as it is, I really don't want to fuck myself over any more than that. Secondly, I've promised a few people that I wouldn't now, and I plan to keep it.

I somehow managed to lose ten pounds since January. I'm not really sure how that happened, but I don't seem to look any different. I'm still too chunky for my liking, but I'm working on that. I've also been eating much better. No more junk food for me.

Current physical annoyances have been my right ear and my hip on the left side. My ear has just been hurting on and off randomly, while my hips have been just killing me every now and then and causing limping and such. Hahah. Lame.

The other day Krystal mentioned trying to get Green Day tickets but finding that they were sold out, so I leapt at the chance to offer her mine. She accepted, and now I don't have to go. I'm pretty thrilled about that. Now I can use the money to see a band I like, such as Modest Mouse (they're coming here AGAIN). Although, I can't shake the feeling that Matt is angry at me about this whole thing. Casey seemed pretty thrilled about going with Krystal, and Krystal is real happy that she gets to go. I'm just glad that I don't have to, and I'm happy about being more honest about my music tastes. Sorry guys, I can't appreciate 95% of the music you love anymore. Hahahahaha. Whoopsies.

Now that it's ten to one in the morning, and I've written like a million tiny paragraphs about my recent days, I'm going to end this entry and write stuff randomly on other stuff on the computer and stuff.

Hooray.

It's kind of cold, way down in here.

Mon, 02 May 2005 19:26:40 GMT

Ugh. I fail at journals. Hahaha.

So, lately I've been sick again. Yep. Since Thursday night. Not until Saturday was did it really affect my daily life, though. But the weekend was terrible. I was already behind in a bunch of assignments for a bunch of my classes, and I didn't have any time this past weekend to catch up. I was too busy sleeping and being an ill little fucker. Hahaha. I ended up freaking out a bit last night, because I had a group project due in Speech class, which was to be our big panel discussion speech. Now, we already know how Alanna freaks out about group things, so yeah. Plus this is one of those pre-planned, BE-THERE-OR-FAIL-NO-EXCUSES-YOU-FUCKER, kinds of things. What I ended up doing was having mum call me in today (I'm still very sick, it almost seems to keep getting worse. Hahaha. HOORAY.), and I just sort of wandered in during second hour so I could do the Speech with my group. Unforutnately, beforehand, I wasn't able to sleep. I layed down in bed at about 11:30, and at 5am I decided "FUCK IT," and got up again

Now that was just this morning, mind you, and I'm sick as fuck, and didn't sleep. Heh. Two people told me that I looked terrible, so that was fun. I sounded awful, and I wasn't able to think much ("Mort? What?"). But, as it turns out, although our speech didn't go too hot I wasn't the one who did the most fucking up. I hate to say it, because Aaron is a nice guy and he seems pretty cool, but he was a totally sucky chairperson. I'm not sure if he even knew what he was doing. We had two topics that we were supposed to cover, and he sort of jumped into the HISTORY part and said everything that there was to be said, leaving very little for any of us to add in. Then he confused us (well at least he confused Tess and I, so I'm assuming Ross was a bit lost as well) by constantly acting like he MIGHT HAVE changed the topic or something and we weren't sure where the hell we were supposed to jump in. Then finally he went to current events and by then I wanted to pass out (you know, the whole being-sick-and-not-having-slept-in-20-hours-thing), so I ended up not adding much into that. We managed to show our visual aids and stuff, and I faked an interview with my Aunt. We only got ONE question for open forum and that was the delightfully generic and completely irrelevant "WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THIS TOPIC?" So that was fun. Then Aaron summarized the speech incorrectly and Tess and I agreed that he was a confusing chairperson. All in all, I am positive that we passed, but quite sure that we didn't get any higher than a C. As lame as that is, I can accept that much. Hahah. I'm just glad that I have that class taken care of for the week, at least.

When I walked home I was coughing a lot and mumbling to myself. I hung out for a while and then decided to get some sleep. Only... not. For some reason I just couldn't. I was feeling tired as hell, still really sick, but I layed down at about 10:30am and decided not to bother when 1:30pm rolled around.

So now I sat down and started writing this entry, and I'm kinda freakin' out. Not bad, just a little bit. I have to get Humanities papers done tonight, and figure out what I'm going to do about my unfinished sketchbook project for Drawing/Painting. I hope I am able to pass all of my classes this semester. I'm not too worried, but if I don't I'll probably stab myself in the eye with a fork. Or two.

So let's just hope my papers for Humanities don't turn out too terribly because I'm just about dead while writing them up.

Tee-hee!

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 03:01:32 GMT

Okay, so this is me right now:

I've got a throat cold or something that's causing my voice to be nonexistant save for high-pitched squeeky noises.

I've got the most VIOLENT hiccups I have ever had.

And so, I am convulsing violently back and forth in my computer chair while making inhuman squeeky giggling noises.

God this is funny.

Safe.

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 11:15:07 GMT

I did it.

HIGH FIVES ALL AROUND.

Whoopsies.

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 04:55:22 GMT

I really need to get off of my lazy ass and update this thing on a daily basis. Jeez. Hahah.

So, anyway... Despite the fact that my weekend was filled with fun and sickness, I'm just going to skip it and head to Monday. But all this skipping shall stop soon, or I'll be annoyed with myself later on.

Well, wait. Let's rewind a bit. A few weeks ago, we were assigned a project in French class. I knew I was in for trouble immediately, when I looked at the group assignment. I was with a quiet student who didn't seem to know much, and then a dreaded partner to have... a fucking meathead idiot that amazes me on a daily basis that people as stupid as him can still exist past fourth grade. A stupid selfish fucker who probably can barely dress himself or breate properly without instruction. so, I was worried from the start. I told the members of my group that I would plan it out. Did I? Yes. As soon as I should have? No. I told myself that I would get my part done early. Did I? No way. Why? Because I'm a fucking idiot. The best part of all is that even though I gave my group members instructions on what to do for their parts of the project, neither of them gave me a thing by Friday. Of course, the project was due on Monday... I told myself that I would just do the entire thing over the weekend and leave it at that. Tell them that they're lucky fuckers that I did that for them. Did I? No. I didn't do a goddamn thing until Sunday night. I didn't come close to finishing by Monday morning. What did that lead to?

Panic attack. I freaked the fuck out. I got up late, I managed to stay home. I told myself I would definately finish it then. I tried to. Did I? Fuck no. Why? I'm a fucking moron failure fucking hell. Hahahaha. I mean... um. Yeah.

So of course, this morning was four times as bad. I kept telling myself what a terrible person I was and how stupid I am and I was shaking and feeling seriously overheated and I could barely stand, let alone walk or do much moving. On top of that, I was an idiot and took too many sleep aids/pain killers the night before, and so my body was already weak and tired. I even went so far as to try and force myself to vomit so I could fake being sick today. I finally worked up the courage to ask mother if she could call me in... of course I did so by calling her from the kitchen. Hahahaha. But I must have sounded incredibly distressed, because I'm quite sure my words were something like "I know this is going to sound horrible, but could you call me in at least for the morning? I don't know what's wrong." And she said it was fine. Hahaha. "I don't know what's wrong," was acceptable this morning. Thanks, mom.

So I wandered upstairs and fell into bed crying like an idiot and feeling terrible. I fell asleep and didn't wake up completely until about 2:30pm. I felt physically terrible still today, which made me feel less guilty about staying home... My head was just burning and my vision kept fucking up. Hahaha. My stomach, too. Anyway... So I decided early on that I would end up staying up all night tonight and finally set this shit straight. I should be able to finish the project easily tonight. And hey, it's cause for some mild hatred for one group member and an emphasis for the already existing burning hatred I had for the other. I'm interested to see what might shoot out of my mouth if either one asks me about the completion of the project. It won't be a pretty sight.

I just think I really need to work on my ability to let people down. No matter how deserving they might be of F's, and completely disregarding the fact that if I were to talk to Madame about it it would probably all be okay, I can't allow myself to let them down in a way that I would be a direct witness of the affect. I can't fail them because I am fully aware of what said action would lead to. My gosh I am a silly thing somtimes.

Anyway... so here I am, nearing midnight, fully prepared to brew some coffee and finish up this damned project. Let us hope that this morning will mark the last school-related freakout I have this year. I am quite tired of those.

FOURTEEN YEARS OF AWESOME

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 02:25:09 GMT

Today is the 13th of April, and it is the birthday of one Savana Jazmin Hibbert.

For those of you who do not know, Savana is fourteen years old today. Despite the fact that she is quite young, she is incredibly talented and intelligent. Let us delve into the origins of this young lady, and how she directly relates to myself.

It all began three years before her birth. In a remote laboratory in the early months of the year 1988, scientists had captured the beast called King Kong. They made an attempt at creating a human fetus using the DNA from this creature, and were successful. They aimed to make this baby "the most awesome child ever." They named her "EXPERIMENT 414774," and fooled a family into believing she was their human child. This family named her Alanna.

About three years into Alanna's existance, the scientists realized that their experiment had been only partially successful. She was strangely more awesome than most children, but had many problems. She was also not nearly as above average as they had hoped. Experiment 414774 was only mildly advanced in her areas of talent, and very poor in her areas of trouble. Thus, in the mid-months of 1991, they decided to try again.

This new clone was named "EXPERIMENT 5474774," and given to a family who re-named her Savana. She seemed to be the most perfect fetus one could ever lay eyes on.

Unfortunately, a few years into the existance of "Savana," they noticed a strange trend. She was MUCH more advanced than the first expiriment, but also had much greater problems to deal with. Also, her heightened level of AWESOME seemed to create an air of detatchement from the rest of the world. She was a troubled child, and the scientists decided to abandon the project all together, and let the two experiments grow up and lead normal lives. (It is not known what became of our father, King Kong. We miss you, daddy.)

What the scientists did not expect, is that sometime in the year 2001, these two experiments came in contact with each other. Completely unnaware of the relationship, they ran into each other online. They began to get to know each other, and form a closeness that made them quite inseperable. At this time, they hadn't quite bloomed into the awesome duo that they could some day become.

These two were still more awesome than most of the people that they were surrounded by, but they certainly were not very awesome at all. But they grew up together and learned from each other, getting closer yet. They eventually turned into what is known today as "TEAM AWESOME."

Currenlty, I am amazed on a daily basis at how wonderful this girl can be. I have had the priveledge of spending time with her physically on two occasions, and both were perfectly wonderful. Savana has left me with nothing more than gained knowledge and inspiration in my life. She has wonderful taste in music, is an amazing artist, and most importantly... one of the greatest things I could ask for in life.

Without Savana, I would completely lost. She has rocked my world in more ways that anybody else on this planet could ever come close to. She can make me smile without even trying, make me laugh when I feel like crying (and that totally rhymed). I can only hope that she feels a similar importance with myself, and that I can be of as much use as she has to me. Here are some things others have said on behalf of Savana:

"I LOVE SAVANA."

"I love Savana like I love a horse."

"Savana has got to be one of the best fucking artists I've seen. I mean, I wish I could do that shit man!! I'm so incredibly jealous that a little piece of me dies every time I see her work. I am not even lying."

"Savana rules!"

"Happy birthday."

"Yeah, Savvy's great. There should be like... a thousand Savana clones. We could use them to take over the world! Plus, they'd be so motivated, every world problem would be solved in seconds!"

Savana, you are one of the most perfectly wonderful things in my life. You have rocked this world for fourteen years.

Don't ever stop rockin'. I love ya.

.yllis era neB dna eM

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 23:49:55 GMT

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Gigando Ovulars of Poot

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 03:57:17 GMT

This weekend has been fairly enjoyable, I think.

Friday was a lot of fun. After school, and after getting the news that we were not to see Sin City, I started up a chat with Savana, Eric, Ben, and later Zac and Clay. It was pretty dorky and fun, but meanwhile during the chat, Ashley was telling me that she was pretty bored and whatnot. At first this night I was feeling very homebound and lazy, but soon during the chat I felt the need to get out of the house. As soon as Ashley mentioned being alone and wanting to run around taping things randomly, I leapt at the chance to join her. I felt kind of bad, having promised Dillon that I would call him at 9 (10 his time), but I really needed to get out of the house (and Ashley's friends had apparently abandoned her, and I was not to allow that!).

I arrived at Ashley's house about twenty minutes or so after I left the computer. Her dad was there, but left soon, which is good. For some reason I feel really strange when her parents are home, hahah. So anyway, she was charging up her camera and I ended up talking to Ryan Tiedt online for a moment. That was interesting, if not a bit annoying (mostly due to his complete lack of spelling and grammatical capabilities online). Eventually, though, she and I got outside with her camera, and walked over to Lincoln. There was a lot of dorking about and the camera eventually died. We wandered back to her house and made some Mad Libs that cracked us up to no end. The night ended with an insane amount of laughter and falling over, lack of breath and overall fun. Ashes is so wonderfully awesome, hahah.

Ashley walked me home (videotaped the walk home, nonetheless), and I called Dillon up after having a retardedly sleepy conversation with him that I really don't remember otherwise, I dropped myself in bed and passed out for quite some time.

Saturday was very uneventful and consisted mostly of myself working on my painting of John Linnell and John Flansburgh. At the time, of course, I was pretty much finished with Flansy... but he looks pretty terrible so I think that I'm going to go back and re-paint him almost completely if I have the itme. Unfortunately, I probably won't have the time to do so. I have to finish that painting within the next week, or the art class will get unnecessarily pissed off at me. Hahaha. I just love that wacky Mrs. Ellenbecker. Haha, but anyway... I got a bit done on Linnell, and he looks a whole lot better than Flansy, which is my motive to go back and edit him later on. Linnell is actually turning out really well, aside from an irreperable mistake that I made on his mouth. I'm looking foreward to finally finishing that up though. Hahah. Maybe it won't look too bad.

The night ended with yet another silly call to a very sleepy and giggly Dillon, who was laughing at just about everything I said. It made me smile anyway. Hehehe.

Today was decent. Eric surprised me with a call this morning, which was wonderful as usual. He seems to be talking more, and I barely had to ask him to repeat himself. Hehe. He's such a cute little sweet thing, he is. He makes me happy. Um... and then, I went to Media Play with mum to pick up Savvy's birthday presents... unfortunately they only had "Locust Abortion Technician" in. So, what I'm thinking is that I'm just going to mail her what I have (because there's quite a bit more than just the CD), and as soon as they get "Weird Revolution" in, I'll send it straight away. But either way, I can't wait to get her presents out. I love giving things to people, hahaha.

Um, after we stopped at Media Play, mum and I headed over to Sears because they had a sale on paint. I ended up buying all of the paint that I'm going to need for my room. I'm pretty excited about that, and I think that I'll try to get it painted next weekend. Maybe I'll invite Ashley over to help. That'd be fun.

This afternoon I talked to Eric and Ben a bit. My computer was being a butt though, and I had to call Dillon soon anyhow. Something nice though, Eric spoke to Dillon shortly. Eric said that Dillon seemed quite cool, and Dillon later commented that Eric made him smile by doing that, and that he seemed quite awesome himself... which in turn made me rather happy! Hahaha. Anyway, I called Dillon up and we talked for 145 minutes apparently. Enough time for me to listen to Graham Coxon's "Happiness in Magazines" four times on repeat, hahahah. I was too lazy to change CDs. I really dig that album though (THANKS AGAIN SAVVY! HEART HEART!!), and I'm starting to know the songs pretty well. I really dig it. Anyway... hahah... talking to Dillon was nice as always, especially considering that the two of us were much more awake than the last few times. It's getting pretty crazy thinking about the fact that he's going to be here in just two short months. How lovely that will be.

Well... it's about time for me to be getting to bed. Mother had asked me to look up rental cars in Chicago for July (family reunion on 3rd through the 5th, which'll be crazy considering Dillon's going to come with us), but I'm honestly not sure where to look around for that. I mean, I know I could just google it and find stuff real quick probably... but I'm really tired, and stuff... and... things. Ack.

Allow me to go to bed before I go on too much of a tangent here.

G'night folks.

Goth Kid Photo Shoot, Take One

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 04:18:52 GMT

Okay, so... Last few days have been fun. On Monday apparently towards the end of the day some punk kid dropped a fakie bomb threat note in the hallway, which lead to us having half days on Wednesday and Thursday. Neither Casey or myself (or more than 50% of the entire school apparently) attended either days at all. This lead to Casey and I hanging out yesterday and today.

Yesterday was fun. I got over to Casey's around 1pm or something of the sort, and we sat around talking and debating what to do. Eventually we decided to hit the mall, after taking forever and a day to get a ride there. We just sort of walked around and looked at books and music for a while. Then we stopped by Sears to find Darius, but he was busy at the time... so we dumbtarded around giggling over how cute all the baby clothes were. We ended up going to eat over at Rocky Rococo's and had a fun time eating too much and feeling greasy. Hahaha. We left and went to see Darius again, and it was getting kind of late. We ended up finding him and talking to him for quite a while, with mostly him doing the talking. It was neat considering I hadn't really seen him in a long time. We ended up talking to him until closing time, and didn't take up on his suggestion of helping him turn all the TVs off, even though Casey seemed thrilled. Hehehe. Um... and so, Kay picked us up and we hung out at Casey's while making fun of Travis until I decided to head home at like 10:30.

Today was even better! Hahah. Today I went over to Casey's around noonish, and after a while we decided to take a nice long walk over to the Riverside Cemetary for some photos and such. We had a great time taking some real neat and somewhat goth kid kind of photos around the place, hanging out until like 4pm. She and I left and went to the City Park and sat down in the podium. We had some great laughs while just eating Laffy Taffy and such. Then, like magic, Beth called my cell and decided we were going to Perkin's! I got a kick out of it, we were there for hours. Beth is awesome, Casey is awesome, Beth and Casey are awesome. We just drank a lot of coffee and had a lot of bathroom breaks hahah. I got home about a half an hour or so ago, and now I'm just talking with Dillon and Ben... I need to get to bed soon, considering I have school tomorrow. Having those two days off makes it like "Wowie zowie it's Friday!" Casey, Matt and I are probably going to go see Sin City tomorrow. Awesome.

Goodnight ev'rybody.

Shoot Me

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 02:30:07 GMT

Hay guys guess what.

I'm still sick.

Or I got sick again.

Or something.

Fuck.

Vo-mi-ting! Vo-mi-ting!

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 19:59:51 GMT

I am very very ill right now. I was much more ill last night.

I came downstairs from playing video games at like 7pm. I sat down near mom and I kept complaining about my stomach. It felt so fucking strange, haha. It wasn't a kind of pain I ever remember feeling before. It felt as though some bloated claw-covered creature was trying desperately to escape from my stomach, which had like constricted around itself or something.

After about an hour it got to the point where I just wanted to die. The pain was absolutely destroying my mood. I started to cry in front of mum, which I feel really guilty about. But god, it hurt so badly. I started mumbling about why everything has to hurt so damn much all the time. Hahaha. What a fag. Anyway... then mom put in a movie and I don't know how long it was, but it took me until AFTER the movie to actually vomit. I vomited three times that time.

This got me all smiley for a moment, saying "Wowzers, it's about time! I feel a bit better now!" only to be welcomed by a whole new level of pain soon after. I wanted to die, hahahaha. (All night I kept reciting the fitting lyrics from "Tryin' To Grow a Chin", to keep myself from going completely insane.) After mom went to bed I ended up vomiting again. Three times again, hahaha. I tried to lay down while I wasn't hurting as badly, but the pain quickly came back and I had to sit up. I felt like I couldn't even hold my head up, I was so exhausted... but I couldn't lay down or my stomach would hurt even more... but I couldn't stay sitting up because for some reason it just took so damned long to vomit. Hahaha. But I ended up throwing up again later on, three times again. And then again, twice. Total of eleven I believe. Although I still felt horribly in the stomach area, I ended up getting so incredibly exhauseted that I passed out at about 2:30am until about 6:30am.

When I woke up my stomach felt gads better, but my head felt like it had a lead weight in it. I moped around and although it was really hard to move, I ended up soaking in the bathtub for a while. That was nice until afterwards when I almost passed out trying to drag myself out. Finally I changed into a small amount of clothing and passed out immediately on my bed until about an hour or so ago.

Now I feel okay, but my stomach hurts a little. I'm far too scared to eat anything, take any medicine, or drink more than like a molecule of water at a time. I have a feeling I know where it'll end up. My head still hurts like CRAZY and my body is weak as fuck. I'll probably go lay down again soon.

I wanna be dead.

It all moves so slowly...

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 17:20:02 GMT

It appears as though journal entries for me are going to be less frequent for a while, hahaha. Obviously. For some reason I've just had no interest in writing about events lately. I have to fix that.

Spring break has been pretty good so far, although I feel as though I've been wasting a lot of time. Tomorrow I plan to go on a little drawing expedition. That'll be gads of fun, I hope. I've been really inspired lately to work on my art skills... I just hope that someday I'll be something good in that area. I really do.

Oh, on Saturday I went to Milwaukee with mum. That was sort of annoying, although I did get to call Dillon while I was there. Aside from that though, I had to color eggs with Mikayla and Hunter, and I had to sit around and wait for mum and aunt Rita to get their hair done. Eventually I just aimlessly wandered the mall by myself and wound up purchasing Frank Zappa's "Sheik Yerbouti," which is an excellent album.

Before we left for Milwaukee, I also back-ordered three CDs. I ordered Savana's birthday presents, two Butthole Surfers albums, and I ordered a Momus album for myself. So that's exciting. I just really hope that they get the two CDs for Savvy in soon, I want to get her gifts sent out!

Anyway... you see? I'm already completely disinterested in writing here. So, um... I've spent two nights at Casey's thus far over spring break. Last night she was sort of mopey about some things, and I felt pretty bad about it. I wish I was able to help her out, but it's really something she's going to have to deal with on her own. I do hope she feels better soon, though. She deserves to be happy like everybody else.

I am still apparently unable to take life too seriously lately. Which is good, I think. Nothing really upsets me anymore. I am actually able to just say "Hey, this'll all end well. Everything always does, so no worries." Hahaha. Wowie zowie. Go me!

I don't know if I'll get online at all today, but I'll try for later on tonight. Tomorrow I shan't be on until nighttime either. I want to spend all of tomorrow wandering around town, drawing from life. I'll bring like fifteen bucks so I can stop and get food and drinks at cafes and whatnot, and just... draw. All day. How lovely will that be? Very lovely indeed.

So, yes... I just need to start being much more productive over breaktime. I'm not too worried, because I really need and sort of deserve the break anyway... but I really hate knowing that I have so much time off, and saying that I don't need to work or anything. I need to be productive or I'll feel like shit.

Hope everybody's feelings as well as I am.

11:18am

I can see my house from here.

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 04:03:38 GMT

Wowie zowie, no journal entry lately! Mainly because I haven't really been online much.

A lot has happened lately. I'll make this short though. Fun recap time.

- I was pretty sick for a while, and I was late to school twice this week, but other than that school has been great.
- Wait, that was a lie. School's been making me incredibly and unbelievably busy. Tomorrow I'm going to have to work hard as hell on my Bio project. And a lot of studying for French. Thank Pete that Tess let me borrow her notes.
- Casey seems to be rather happy lately, and this makes me smile. She also assured me that after this weekend, calling her is nothing to be paranoid about ahaha. So we'll start doing things again, I hope.
- I got a new sketchbook and a new dead letters journal. That's good. Durable sketchbook, I've already got a bit drawn in it.
- Speaking of which, Casey wants to borrow my old one to show to this artist guy she knows. Scary! But oh well. Maybe I'll get lucky and he won't think I suck. Hehehe.
- OH GOD SPEAKING OF WHICH. Apparently GSA is going to use a poster I did last year for the designs for the shirts this year. I know I'm going to hate it, but I let them do it anyway. Oh well. I shall restrain myself and not stab everyone who wears it (save for maybe myself).
- I had a fun time on an art-related field trip with Ashley, Beak and Dani. Ashley is such an awesome lady, and so are her friends.
- I went to a concert for school and saw Christina and Krystal and everybody sing. I was really impressed with West Company and Kantorei. Wowie zowie, can those folks belt a tune and make it interesting. Christina's group did really well too, I just can't wait to see her perform in a group like Kantorei next year! She really is good, wowzers.
- I spent today mostly with Christina, as well! It was fun, although it would have been cool to spend some time with her without her mother. I get paranoid with parents around. Not to say her mom isn't awesome. She's actually a really funny, really cool lady.
- Chris Nitchke is back around. He rose from the deeeaad. I don't hate him as much as I hate Chris Braun, but I don't really like him either. He's a creep, and sometimes it's the fun kind of creepy... but he's also really really dumb, I think. He's fun anyway.
- Tonight I realized some things while talking to Dillon. We both did, I think. At first it was upsetting, but now I'm honestly a lot happier for it. I was able to come to terms with something, meanwhile strengthening my faith and trust in him. He and I... we're good at this. Heh.
- My body has been hurting a lot lately. End of that.
- I am now taking Creative Writing and a Study Hall instead of Advanced Painting/Printmaking next year. I really hope they offer it again my senior year. I really, really do. Ugh. But Creative Writing will be cool, apparently Kat is taking that as well.
- We're starting a new unit in PE soon, and I am paranoid. I hope I don't hate it.
- Aside from that one day, Lee has been pretty bearable. That's nice.
- I get new blankets and such tomorrow, maybe. Awesome stuff.
- Krystal attacked me with a tennis racket in the hallway and made me have to go back for my French book later hahahaha.
- My new name is Nun Walker. And Ashley is Jogger "Jena" Smith.

So anyway... To put things short, there have been some troubles lately... but I have still come out of things happier than I have ever been. I love things.

"That would suck a lot!"

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 04:37:29 GMT

Not much has happened lately. A lot of physical irritations, but I can live with those. Heheh. Lee's been pretty funny... he was strangely bearable for a while, and then suddenly today it's as though everything I do is wrong. He's called me useless a number of times! The awesome thing is that it doesn't bother me really. The really awesome thing is that it actually amuses me and makes me smile. I just love how he assumes that every damned thing I do is done out of some sort of need to impress or something. Honestly. Every outfit I wear is somehow me trying to be cool in the eyes of other people, every phrase that I use as well. Every thing I do is driven by some need to make people think something particular about me! Wowie zowie, I wish I was aware of what this was, because I ain't seein' it! I hide from most people. I don't like them even acknowledging my existance, let alone thinking I am something wonderful. Heheh. Anyway... I wish mother wasn't around, I could talk to that boy forever! At a certain point, he'll just start responding to everything I say in a sort of repition and mock-tone, smiling and thinking he's hurting me. It's the funniest thing.

So, yes. Lee has been thoroughly amusing, if not a little pathetic today. I got to call Dillon tonight. I actually just got off of the phone with him a little while ago. It was mostly the usual chat. Dillon being cute, me being ditzy, lots of anecdotes and strange discussions. Also some of the best bad puns ever! I got to vent just a bit of frustration involving other people, so that was nice. He's such a wonderful boy, haha. Dees is less than three.

Anyway. Tomorrow I need to draw a bit, and I really hope I'm feeling physically better. Ack. Aaaand... time for sleep.

Are ya prone to havin' blackouts?

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 02:15:56 GMT

Today was a good day, for the most part. Mum was kind of upset this morning, which lead the majority of the house being cleaned by herself, Lee and me. I really only cleaned me own room, but holy shit did that need cleaning. Hahaha. It's really refreshing to have a cleaned room again. I'm such a lazy bum! But yea... now that mum's gonna be working more, I wanna start keeping the house in line again. I hate messes. Heh.

I got to talk to Savvy some today. The site she's making with Clay is the funniest thing ever, I swear. Um... she also talked to me a bit about somebody today, and I had mixed feelings about that. I dunno. Stuff.

I obviously am not capable of thinking today. That is okay. Um, Eric sent me some more Naruto to read today. I read it all already, damn. He seemed pretty amused by my reactions to things, and I wish he was able to stay around until I was done! It's fun to talk to him while reading. Hahaha.

Um... wowzers. Boring day, boring entry, boring me. I'm probably going to just throw some laundry in and get to bed. School tomorrow, afterall.

I'm having fun

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 15:32:54 GMT

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet / Street you live on):

Molly Douglas

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather's first name):

Candy Sidney

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant):

Corporate Harmony

4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot):

Ginger Nowheres

5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied):

Allanzo Milwaukee

6. "FLY GIRL/BOY" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name):

A. Ric

7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen):

Strawberry Juice

8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School):

Bunny West

9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink):

Kitkat Vodka

10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived):

Terese Menard

11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician):

Starburst Patton

12. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: ( First 2 letters of your first name and the first 3 Letters from your last name makes your first name. Take the first 2 letters of your mother's maiden name and the first 3 letters of the city you were born in):

Alric Bochi

B, Bo, Bor, Bore, Bored

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 22:30:56 GMT

Have you ever...

Hit someone forcefully: Haha, yeeeaaahh.
Seen "Are you Afraid of the Dark": Yes, but I don't really remember any particular episodes.
Thrown anything at a moving car: Um, not intentionally.
Been in a fist fight: Not really, no.
Laughed so hard you cried: Like, once a week.
Hit an animal in the road? SHUP, I CAN'T DRIVE.

Other...

Who do you sit with at lunch: Um. Usually Casey and Tawny, sometimes plus Krystal and Katie Hiles.
Do you think Justin Timberlake is hot or not: You are a bad man.
Who gave you a Valentine card this year: Hahaha, Beak drew a nice one up and made copies for people. And Ashley was going to give me a flower, but since she got nothing, I gave it back to her. Hehe.
Favorite shoes you own: Probably them big ol' knee-high black leather suckers with the belts'n stuff. I have a weakness for them.
What color would you dye your hair: My hair has been dyed blond, black, pink, blue, purple and some weird pinkish reddish color. My favorite was purple.
Who are you closest friends: Dillon, Matt, Savana, Casey
What is something you wish you could have that someone else has: Chris Braun's entire CD and DVD collection. He doesn't deserve them anyway!
Favorite TV show: Family Guy and The Critic.
Make-up or none: None.
Do you believe we landed on the moon: I don't really care if we landed on the moon...
What are you wearing now: You're dirty! I mean... brown jeans and a brown turtleneck sweater.
What song is stuck in your head: "A Lapdog" by Momus

Junk...

How old are you mentally: About as I old as I am physically, unless I'm sleepy. Then I'm like 4.
Describe yourself in 5 words: Silly, artsy, awkward, dumb, loud.
Do you dream at night: I have many a crazy dream.
Do you remember your dreams: Usually. I wish I did more often.
Do you sleep with one pillow or two: Anywhere between two and five.
Do you like school: Yes, I do! School is fun. But sometimes I wish it would just away.
Whats ur fave subject: Art, French, Humanities.
Do you have a best friend(s): I suppose, yes.
Do you have a religion: Nope!
Do you practice it: YES, I PRACTICE NOT HAVING A RELIGION EVERY DAY. Silly survey.
Does death scare you: Yes, a little.
Do you watch tons of tv: TV is for squares.
How many times have you been to the movies in the past 6 months: Uuummm. Like thrice.
Do you read magazines: Not really.
Whats your fave band: They Might Be Giants, anything involving Mike Patton or Frank Zappa.
Name 3 cds that youve bought in that last year: Um. I bought various TMBG albums in the last 12 months. Plus a whole lot of other stuff.
Do you wear makeup regularly: Nope. Never.
Are you a saver or a spender: I don't have money, so I'm not really either one. Hahaha.

More Junk...

Which 5 people do you trust and are open with the most: Dillon, Savana, Will, Casey, Matt
Can you live without the microwave: If I had a stove, I suppose. But I would suffer.
Who's phone number are you hoping to get: Uuuumm. Nobody's?
Which guy/girl do you wish to be with RIGHT now: Why, Dillon, of course.
Would you rather eat sandwiches or pasta for the rest of your life: Sandwiches!
Football or rugby: If I knew what rugby is, I would probably prefer it over football.
What's something you ALWAYS have on you: Um. Underpants?
What do you think of guys with nailpolishes: Pretty!
What's a happy memory of a time you've spent with the opposite sex: Dillon day! Hahaha.
What's the nicest thing any one has ever told you: Nnnn... About 50% of everything Dillon and Will ever say to me.
What's your favorite fastfood restaurant: Subway wins the prize, I just wish it were cheaper.
Favorite book: Oh, I don't know. I like books.

More Junk...

Did you read Fear Street books: I have no idea what those are.
How about Sweet Valley High: Hahaha, I never read those, they scared me.
Babysitter's club: HAH, YES. Casey and I used to play the board game all the time.
Goosebumps: I loved Goosebumps. Especially like the PICK YOUR OWN ADVENTURE kind.
Favorite show on nickelodeon: Pete & Pete!!
Do you like anyone: Sure! I like a lot of people. But if you mean more seriously, then yes, that too.
If so, who: My lovely little Jellybean
Favorite cereal: Generic brand Cocoa Pebbles.
Favorite 80's television show: I probably don't know any from the 80s, so anything I say will probably be early 90s... and I'm gonna have to go with Fraggle Rock.
Do you think the grinch movie starring jim carrey was a waste of money: Not really, no. I liked it.
What do you want for your birthday this year: I don't know. Something pleasant. Music. Stuff. Nothing. I don't care.
What movie could you watch a million times and never get tired of: Nightmare Before Christmas, hahaha.
What movie do you hope you never see again: Underworld.
What's the best restaurant you've ever eaten at: Ummm. Uuuuuuuummm... I have no idea.
What is the one thing in the world that just looking at it makes you vomit, or come close to it: Uuumm. Vomit, actually. Hahahaha.
Do your clothes match: Usually, somewhat. As best I can make them.
Did you have a bike with a banana seat: Yes, a purple and white one with flowers on the seat.
Could you ride it: Only until Lee's fat friend broke it by riding it in his pool or something.
Have you lived in the same house your entire life: Nope. I used to live in a little house in Oaklawn, Illinois. It's a Chicago suburb.
What was the last song u heard: Jellyfish - Ignorance is Bliss
Find anything good on sale lately: The pants I'm wearing were like 10 bucks.
If you won the lottery, what would you do: Move to Florida and pay for college.
How old is your tomagotchi: I had Giga Pets. And they're dead and gone.
Ever seen a Beatles film: I am so uncool.
Happy with your life: As happy as I've ever been.

Get down from there, you'll hurt yourself...

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 04:12:43 GMT

Hahaaaa, what's wrong with me?

I haven't updated this thing for like, well over a week, even though plenty of interesting things have been going on. I suppose I'll just split stuff up to make it quick and keep me from going on and on about every damned day since I last updated this bugger, although I'm sure whatever crazies read this besides me just LOVE to read al the shit I throw at them.

School has been so lovely. My grades, though not extremely high or anything, have been higher than they have in three years anyway. I'm working on it. I just love most of my teachers now, heh. Now that I got rid of Mrs. Smith and Mr. Hoffensperger, all I have to dislike is Mrs. Ellenbecker. And she's bearable. Although she's been creeping me out lately. "You paint beautifully. That's looking gorgeous. Everybody asks about your painting. That's gorgeous. Everyone looks at your painting. Did I tell you that it's looking gorgeous?" Aaacckkk. It's like half a face and hand. Seriously. Hahahaha. Hait.

Anyhow... Mrs. Brandvick-Wouters has got to be the greatest teacher I've had yet. Speech class is honestly a treat to me. I love that woman, and so does just about everybody. She's so smart and fun, and she loves our class to death. She always says "Wow, you know, I've been wondering about/needing help with/wanting to tell the story about... .... so I thought I would come ot my second hour! Because you guys are just so smart and polite and wonderful!" Hahaha. She's such an awesome lady, I'm actually going to ask her next week if I may borrow one of the awesome 70's textbooks to sketch stuff out of.

So, PE has been more than bearable lately too. I managed to make friends with a spunky, goofy kind of dorky kind of girl named Kat. She really loves to read, and she always shares these interesting little bits from her stories with me. Also, a girl named Sam, who's small and shy and sort of self-concious and such. They're nice girls, and they make life easier. I'm still rather dreading team sports, though. Ack. Everything else in school is ace... Although I want to bring up my French, Humanities and Biology grades. They're at C's. I can do better'n that, right?

Then, my lovely Wisconsin friends. I'm really starting to enjoy Ashley's company. She's one of the few people around here whom I walk away from smiling, glad to know a cool lady like her doesn't dispise my existance or something. She's such an interesting girl, and really smart when she wants to be, but still dorky and has a perfectly lame sense of humor. I love it. I feel kind of bad, because it sounds like some of her friends can be a bit frustrating, and so I hope I don't get on her nerves. Except Beak! Hahah. Never a complaint about Beak, she is a saint. No surprise there, she seems like a really awesome girl. Mhmm, I rather like those fellas.

Casey's been pretty cool lately, but we haven't done much. I guess I've been paranoid about calling her due to something I'm not used to feeling with her... paranoia. I get paranoid that I'm going to bother her and she's going to get angry at me, or I'm going to prevent her from doing something more important to her. It's strange, and I might mention it to her in case she feels opposite. Lately I've been wondering what sort of things go on in that girl's head, because I'm never quite sure. I hope she's been happy lately, anyway. I worry sometimes.

Everybody else... pretty good. I still miss doing things with Matt, and I think that once we get the house fixed up a little bit more I might invite him over sometimes. I really hope he doesn't think any less of me than he used to, or anything like that. He's such a cool guy, I love him. Hah. Krystal and Katie and Klumpy and everybody... still cool like always. Katie had a big box on her foot since 6th hour today, and when I saw her in the hallway after PE, she scared the shit out of me by screaming "OH MY GOD ALANNA CHECK OUT MY BOX!!!"

Art, writing. That stuff. I've begun to write a bit again, though nothing like I used to write. Latey I've just been wanting to write down anything for the sake of writing, because... Hahah. I don't know. Since I was a small child, a simple pleasure of mine was just to write and type. I remember when we got our first computer all those years ago, with like the old floppy disk drive that would play like green and black games and stuff like Wheel of Fortune. But yeah... I used to just re-write fairy tales completely and change names a bit or things that happened or what people said, or sometimes I wouldn't change them at all. I would just write them as I knew them, in story form. Heh. So, yeah... writing has become a simple pleasure for me again, and I like to just type and jot things down for no reason whenever. I want to start writing something of some significance again, I've had a certain idea for a while now and I might start that this weekend. I've also taken an interest in a poetry contest going on at our school. I have another month if I wish to enter, and they give out some pretty hefty cash prizes. Heh. I'm going to enter, I think, if I can write something that I don't hate.

My art has been okay. I feel like I recently hit some sort of high point in creativity, but I haven't found the time or the energy to actually put much other than ideas and sketches down on paper. I want to do at least two fairly good art bits this weekend, but I may or may not get around to it. I just want to do something that I won't hate. That's all. I hate too much of what I do.

Heh. My mental health as of late has been better than it has in years. When I think about it, I've been a pretty sad and angry kid most of my life. For the past few months, everything I have just feels so beautiful that it makes me write cheesey things in my journal. But I dig it. I dig it a lot.

Dillon really helps with that. I get to talk to him on the phone a lot, he's so interesting. He's always so ready to share all these crazy stories about incredible people he's known and crazy things he's been through... or to give some sort of historical background on a figure of interest. So smart. Ahaha. It's so refreshing to hear the voice of someone that I don't feel is a complete idiot. Quite the opposite, of course, I'm usually the one feeling dumb. Heh. He's such a sweety, such a dork... he makes me smile. I love 'im.

I've been rather annoyed about my physical condition. Since I lost weight last year I realized that I've sort of let myself rot hahaha. I don't really remember my train of thought up until this semester as far as that goes, but I really really need to get in line and lose that last twenty pounds or so. I would feel so much better if I did.

Aside from that, I've been doing wonderful. I've had a shocking lack of headaches, and I've been getting a great deal more sleep than usual. For some reason I had trouble sleeping a bit last week, but my sleep aids (ahahaha... warning!! I hate you Dillon. I mean um HEART HEART) and such generally help with that. Weight lifting has been rather successful, though leaving me somewhat sore. I realized earlier this week that I actually do a bit more than most of the girls, save for about three athletic ones. But yeah, I just need to work on my muscle strength in some ares and I think I'll be good to go as far as that goes. Lose weight, more sleep, muscle strength. Easy.

I got Eric's DVDs today. I watched a bunch of the Naruto episodes and Garden State. Good stuff, mhmm. I think that on Sunday I'm going to just snatch of Savvy's birthday presents early and send out a big ol' package next week, with the tape and stuff that I've been meaning to send out for a while now. I can do that, since, mum picked up work and now I can't go to that Modest Mouse concert. I was so excited, hahaha. I hate those sort of dissapointments. I really need a concert here and there. I wonder when Skappleton is... Ashley's supposed to go with me this year, maybe. Yay.

Wowie zowie, how fekkin' long is this thing, hmm? I write too much and too fast, I tell you. Ah well. My mind seems to have suddenly vanished, so I'm going to end it here I think. I'm going to make mum some food stuffs, talk to Savvy for a little while... and then get my arse to bed and not wake up until like 1pm tomorrow afternoon.

Life is awesome.

Really, I Just Wanna Dance

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 04:46:28 GMT

Wowie zowie. I honestly really need to stop skipping entries hahaha. I am a bad person.

Also, I wonder how many entries I have began with "wowie zowie" before? Hmm. Anyhow... my hands are still a bit numb, so please excuse any poor typing.

Recent days have been just as lovely as the previous ones. The weekend was real nice... On Saturday afternoon, I went sledding with Casey, Klumpy and Cyndashia. We had a great time, haha. We had plastic sleds, a snowboard and Casey's busted-up plastic laundry basket. We walked down to Pierce park an had a blast, I think. We only went down a few times, mostly because the walk up is hard as hell hahah. And the walk there and back got pretty difficult, too... I was wearing heavy ill-fitting boots. But it was awesome nonetheless. "NOOTTTHHHAAAPUDDLLEEEEE!!!" We also walked over to Burger King and just had a buncha fries, hahah. I like just getting to talk an socialize with my friends again. It's a rather refreshing feeling.

Anyways... Saturday night was nice too, mostly. I stayed over at Casey's. She invited Matt over later on, and it was kind of awkward for me at first. I got pretty use to it, though... But unfortunately, just as I was comfortable with everything, Casey stopped talking. Matt and I realized this fairly quickly, and we were asking her things and trying to include her in the conversations... I really hope she wasn't angry with either of us. I don't really understand her sometimes, I wish she would tell me what goes on in her head. It would help a lot.

So, Sunday afternoon I ventured back home... Wow, you know, I can't seem to remember much of Sunday. I know I talked to Savvy some... we talked about Dennis and Lisa a lot, which was pretty nice. Discussing characters with Savana is usually a treat, I must say. She's so creative and fun. Heh. (Crikey! I forgot to scan the comic again! I'll scan it tonight, and then... Savvy, next time you see me online be like "COMIC COMIC COMIC COMIC COMIC!!!!")

Which brings us to Monday... today. Today I woke up feeling very ill, aheh. Like I was going to vomit on my shoes. I really didn't want to, but after trying to get ready for a while, I just felt awful... I asked mother if she would call me in, an so she did. I slept and had some odd dreams about theme parks, little dolls and bright bright colors. I awoke with a strong pain in my neck... ick... at around 1pm. Mum was leaving for work, so I started pacing around, still feeling ill... I was considering going to that teaching bit over at Lincoln. That was the only regret I had all day, was missing that. I actually took a shower and got dressed, but my head hurt so bad that I wanted to cry, so when I was all ready to go I just said "Fuck it" an downed some pain killers hahah.

I don't really remember a lot of what happened today... wow jeez I'm tired haha. I know that I started playing that game that Ben introduced me to... It's a game where you're a psychiatrist person treating stuffed animals with severe mental issues hahah. It's really fun!! Anyway... as I was playing that, Ben suggested starting a chat. So, I started up a chat with Savana, myself, Eric and Ben. It started slow, got to be pretty cool, and then! Dillon called me hahaha. I was on the phone with Dillon for a rather long time again... Wowzers, we sure have been talking a lot. I must say, though, I just love it. Hahah. I would have no problem with talking to him for hours and hours. Anyways... eventually my phone ran out of batteries and so I had to go (NOTE TO SELF: give Dillon home phone number hahaha).

I hopped back online, but my computer has been being a bitch again, so it wasn't all that great. Hahah. Although, I did get to talk to Ashley. She showed me some of the photos she took with her digital camera, hahah. I sent some of them to Dillon and Zac. Um... Haha, Ashley gave me Ryan Teidt's screen name, so I gave it to Ben and he talked to him. It was pretty funny, an Ashley was giggling when Ryan was like "wow some stupid guy is talkin to me." Anyway... eventually Ashley and I were talking, and Ashley goes "ALANNA I'M SCARED COME SAVE ME." So I said that I would if I knew her address for certain... and so she gave it to me, reminded me that she lives right next to Sam Sullivan, and I said that I would be right over (with presents!).

I wasn't quite sure, but as I found when I walked a bit, Ashley's house is nearly a straight line from mine! She's on the corner of Story an Winnebago, rock. So, as I was nearing her house, Dillon called my cell... I talked to him for just a bit until Ashley anwered the door. I gave her candy as a present, and she showed me her kitties and her little hamster with a tumor. We had a lot of fun just joking around and looking at photos and such. We agreed that I ought to run over to her house randomly more often.

Before I left, I decided to call Dillon just to make sure I did so before it was too late heh. I called him and we talked a little, but mostly I just rolled on Ashley's floor laughing my ass off at the fucking GLORIOUS photos she has saved on her computer. My god. Her photo files are PURE GOLD. I swear. Anyway... I left and remained on the phone with Dillon until I was inside my house. That was nice, since it was cold, and a little scary with some sports team or something filing into my school as I passed it.

So, anyhow... I've had a great time lately. I'm content. If not, I'm incredibly happy. Heh. I have no complaints.

Wowie zowie.

Oh, and Savvy, those Blackalicious songs are spectacular. Hahaha. Alphabet Aerobics is genious.

Hmm.

Everything makes me smile these days. Rock.

Money is Timecakes

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 05:08:26 GMT

Wowie zowie. Today was a good day.

I'm rather sleepy to go into much detail, and honestly I didn't really want to move from my bed tonight, but I needed to take my medication... and so I thought I should write a lovely little entry tonight, in the spirit of how happy I have been as of late.

Oh, as a quick note, I recieved a package today from Savana. It was photos! Some of them were from my trip, some of them were various ones she's taken over the last year or so. She even threw in two pictures of Frank Zappa. I was so surprised and smiley to discover those. The only possible description of my reaction is ":O"

Very very few things have been frustrating me lately, and all of those things are getting resolved and turning into wonderful things somehow. The biggest conflict was that of visiting Eric... as it turns out, I am now unable to do so, or at least I have maybe a five or ten percent chance of doing so hahah. I wasn't really worried about Eric at all, especially after talking to Savvy about it... and as it turns out, our thoughts were quite correct. Eric is such a strong individual, he ended up better with this whole situation. He and I are certainly going to strengthen our relationship as friends, and that is just what I need. Thank you Eric, much love for you.

Savana and I had a conversation the other night, as well, about fixing some problems with myself. I'm quite confident about this, and I feel like I've already started. I've told some truths to both her and Eric, and I want to start doing that more often. You see, it's not that I lie, but that I hide things to the point where it is being dishonest. We can't have that. I am fixing this completely, just you wait and see.

Now, I feel bad thinking about this, hahah. I just remembered how I actually started talking to Dillon tonight... I was online with Savana, just about to record a sound clip, and my computer fucked itself in the ass. So, as I was restarting... I recieved a phone call. Somehow I was out of it enough to have forgotton that Dillon was maybe going to call me tonight until I looked at the phone. Once I started talking to him, I was pretty much focused on nothing else (well, after I was done eating spinach quiche I pretty much focused on nothing else) and completely forgot to sign back on and say good-bye to Savana. I am so sorry, Savvy! I love you! Haha. Jeez.

So... I went upstairs into my bedroom, laid down under my strangely patterned comforter and had a conversation with Dillon over the phone. A conversation that was just a bit more than two hours long, actually. I never stopped smiling, I swear. He is such a fascinating person, I tell you h'wat. We had some serious conversation, some average conversation... and then at other times there was complete retardation. I must admit, I love making him laugh just to hear it. Hahah, he yelled at me when I told him, but he has the cutest damned laugh ever. It makes me smile. Anyhow... Dillon had to get to bed, he's going to be rather busy tomorrow. It ended up being great timing, because immediately after we discontinued our conversation, my phone informed me that it was low on batteries. Hah. So it would have died in another two minutes anyway. Perfect timing, Jellybean.

So, yeah... I really love my friends. I am going to spend the majority of tomorrow with Casey, so that should be a fun little adventure. Casey rocks. I also want to really talk to Savana this weekend... share some thoughts and feelings that I think she might want to know. Heh. Also, maybe start working on getting to know Eric even better... I want to be closer to him. I want to be closer to everyone. I love you guys, all of you. You rock my currenlty nearly-perfect little world.

Smile, everyone. I love you.

Oh, well...

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 01:33:57 GMT

Well, now.

My kitty is dead. Cocoa. My fluffy calico kitty that I got in the 3rd grade.

So, yeah. Cocoa is dead and Lee is a buttface.

Ah well.