| New Journal |
[17 Aug 2005|11:20pm] |
For those who didn't know, my journal is now ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) casual_escape
Yep. Check it.
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| Able to be Vince |
[15 Jun 2005|08:12pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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Momus - The Hairstyle of the Devil |
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So I began my little studio art class on Monday. So far it's been pretty cool. Most of the students are a bit younger than me, but that's just fine. I don't think I've had to say a word to any of them yet, so I suppose it doesn't really matter! The class itself is lovely, and the teacher is actually, well... a teacher. Ms. Jandl (Yon-dle) actually knows what she's talking about and is teaching us about things (even if I know a lot of what she teaches already, we get to actually make ART... something that my art teachers like to prevent usually).
So Monday we got this stupid assignment with marbles, and long sleepless story short I ended up not getting it done and freaking out for a while. I cried a lot because it put me in one of my "Oh man I'm a huge fucking failure and shouln't be allowed to live anymore," kind of moods. It lasted through Tuesday morning where I felt sick (hadn't slept in two nights save for random bits of nodding off and waking up ten minutes later) and for some reason refused to eat or drink or stop crying until the ride to school. Everything turned out okay, although it will hurt my grade a bit. We ended up doing some exercises with colored pencils that were pretty cool, and I'd like to play around with them some more.
Today was awesome though. We spent the morning on perspective (pretty much all stuff that I already knew, but it was good practice). We got to begin drawing a hallway, although I didn't get very far. I was having too much fun doing details in the ceiling. But!! Later on Ms. Jandl had a friend come in and pose for us to do some figure drawings. That was really nice, considering I never get to do those. We were just supposed to draw out the shapes of her body and stuff, but I drew out some pretty detailed little sketches, and the teacher didn't seem to mind.
After school I found that Christina had called me. We ended up cruisin' around town for a while, going the hill in the park near her house, and then just sittin' in her basement for a while. I told her about my art class, and she agreed to pose for me sometime! So that's good. I shared some music and showed her some random things online, and then she drove me home. I sent Ben a bunch of Momus songs and we talked about them. He seemed to reall enjoy those!
Speaking of Ben, I've really been enjoying talking to him lately. I'd like to call him this weekend if I get the chance (I'm supposed to call both Casey and Christina, which makes me feel bad because I wanted to invite Kat and Sam out to lunch one of the days). Dillon as well. I've had the chance to call him a few times lately, and that's certainly been nice.
And uh! Yeah! Stuff!
I'm goin' to bed.
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| When your boots are a-square-dancin' |
[09 Jun 2005|01:11pm] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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Elliott Smith - Punch and Judy |
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So, not a whole lot has been going down recently.
Yesterday I stayed home and cleaned up the whole downstairs. I just sort of listened to some old music and did what I felt like. My phone was out, which kind of sucks, because I guess Danwell called me a few times last night. Oh well. I am really glad that I got the downstairs cleaned up, it's rather refreshing. Heh.
After that I sat around and waited until mum came home. It didn't really work out because I guess she decided to pick last night as the only night ever to stick around and get some dinner with friends. Hahaha. So I sat around waiting for her and got bored and went online. Dillon was online but was idle, so I sat there for a while playin' around online hoping that maybe he'd get back. Didn't happen, and mum didn't get home until real late, so my night was boring and full of waiting.
When mum got home she had some food for me. It was like 12:30 but I ate it anyway. Then I played with Jenna until she got tired (for like the third time), and decided to go up on the roof. I went up there and listened to "Either/Or" all the way through, then I layed in bed until about 3am.
For some reason I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping again I guess. When I finally fell asleep, which was sometime between 3 and 4 in the morning, I ended up waking up at like 7:30 and never falling completely back to sleep. I sort of forced myself out of bed this morning at 10. Hahaha.
Anyway... In about an hour or something I'm supposed to hang out with Matt. That'll be nice. I miss him.
Beep beep beep.
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| Corn Flakes Disease |
[06 Jun 2005|11:49pm] |
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mood |
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my eyes hurt |
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music |
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Handsome Boy Modeling School - Are You Down With It |
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Since I last updated, I:
- went to Chicago with my Humanities class. It was a blast, the museums were wonderful. It was so cool seeing so much famous art up close.
- went to High Cliff (our state park) with Ashley and Dani. Twice, actually. The first time was great, but the second time was better. We went off-trails and stuff. The only not-great thing was that Ashes managed to step on a syringe while we were on the "beach" (which turned out to be really gross). Not cool, hahah.
- On the plus side, there were boys with guitars there.
- went to the mall and Min Du Buffet with Casey, Cyndashia, Katie and Krystal. Had a blast. Ate way too much.
- saw Life Aquatic. That was really good. The way it was presented cinematically made me happy. So cool.
- bought "Demon Days." So lovely.
- had my finals for school. I passed every one with at least a C, and I got an A on one of them. I passed all of my classes, so that's cool.
- spent the last day of school with Casey.
- experienced the Slow Frog Incident. I shall never forget.
- signed up for a TAG (talented and gifted, hurr hurrrrr) Studio Art class over summer. I'm REALLY looking forward to that.
- got a super cute retro dress from Goodwill but don't really like how it looks on ME. But oh well.
- watched James and the Giant Peach for the first time since I was a kid. I was surprised at how much I hate small children who can't pronounce their R's. I wanted to send him VEWWY VEWWY FAW AWAY.
- had a dream that involved an (illegal) cult hit film where one watching could feel the tortures and repeated murduring of a redheaded girl in said film.
- found out that Casey can go to Chicago with us. We're going to have a fantastic time, I simply cannot wait.
- watched Drop Dead Fred with Casey. Again, I hadn't seen it since I was a small kid. I was surprised at how seriously amused I was by that movie. I laughed until it hurt, twice. ("THAT'S IT I HATE YOU!!")
- forgot to clean up a number of times.
- forgot to prep my room for painting. But I did sketch out my plans for all my walls. Quite exciting. I'll be doing that sometime in the next ten days.
- talked to my Jellybean on the phone for the first time in a long time. It was really, really nice.
And now I'm going to bed. Hopefully I'll start updating more frequently, and entries like this won't happen.
Bon sior mes copains. Je t'aime.
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| That kid straight up jacked our ball. |
[06 May 2005|12:37am] |
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mood |
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groggy |
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King Crimson - Dinosaur |
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So I'm still sick, which sucks pretty bad.
Yesterday was really lame because of it. Phy Ed was the worst, although Kat ended up much worse than I was. Both of us ended up crying. Hahaha. Terrible.
Today I missed a French field trip because of it, so that's lame as well. I was rather looking forward to it, but that's okay. I'm just thrilled about Chicago next week, or the week after, or whenever. I keep forgetting.
Speaking of Chicago, mum recently reserved our hotel rooms for the summer family reunion thing. I'm pretty excited for that, now that I know we're going to be staying a couple of days. How wonderful.
I now have three tests to make up that I am aware of. One for Bio, one for Algebra and one for French. I'm a bit worried about the Bio one and the French one, but my Algebra grade is fine.
Speaking of Bio, I hope I'm not late turning in my summer school sign-up bit. I have to start that just like a week after regular scool ends. Also lame.
My moniter keeps dicking out on me like it always does. What a fucker. We really need to get a new computer/moniter/everything.
We're starting tennis in Phy Ed. That's cool. I totally fail at it, but that's nothing new. We were Kat-less today, but that's okay because she was so sick yesterday. If she were there today, I would have hit her.
We got like a C on our Speech. Tess told me so anyway. I kind of got angry but we pretty much deserved it. I hope the next thing we do in that class will let me bring my grade up. I also feel bad because I was kind of blaming the grade on Aaron, which I really shouldn't do. Silly me.
I really need to get to work on my art. I've been working on some things that I like, but there's so much I need to work on before I do anything else. It'll be nice to be able to do so once school is out. Except I'm supposed to get a job and go to summer school and learn to drive and stuff. I hate being busy.
So tonight I've decided to stay up all night. This'll be like the third recent sleepless Thursday night. That's silly. Hahah.
Only 17.5 more school days. How rad is that? I mean seriously. That's like three and a half weeks. And three of those days are finals, and like two of them are just winding down and preparing for finals. And one is the ever-so-much-fun yearbook signing day. Teehee.
Casey's parents are apparently going to be gone most of the weekend, so we're gonna chill or something over there. That'll be fun, unless she ends up with some booze. Hahaha. I don't think she realizes that I'm serious about my decision not to bother with drugs and alchohol. For one, I figure that I'm unhealthy enough as it is, I really don't want to fuck myself over any more than that. Secondly, I've promised a few people that I wouldn't now, and I plan to keep it.
I somehow managed to lose ten pounds since January. I'm not really sure how that happened, but I don't seem to look any different. I'm still too chunky for my liking, but I'm working on that. I've also been eating much better. No more junk food for me.
Current physical annoyances have been my right ear and my hip on the left side. My ear has just been hurting on and off randomly, while my hips have been just killing me every now and then and causing limping and such. Hahah. Lame.
The other day Krystal mentioned trying to get Green Day tickets but finding that they were sold out, so I leapt at the chance to offer her mine. She accepted, and now I don't have to go. I'm pretty thrilled about that. Now I can use the money to see a band I like, such as Modest Mouse (they're coming here AGAIN). Although, I can't shake the feeling that Matt is angry at me about this whole thing. Casey seemed pretty thrilled about going with Krystal, and Krystal is real happy that she gets to go. I'm just glad that I don't have to, and I'm happy about being more honest about my music tastes. Sorry guys, I can't appreciate 95% of the music you love anymore. Hahahahaha. Whoopsies.
Now that it's ten to one in the morning, and I've written like a million tiny paragraphs about my recent days, I'm going to end this entry and write stuff randomly on other stuff on the computer and stuff.
Hooray.
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| It's kind of cold, way down in here. |
[02 May 2005|02:05pm] |
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mood |
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worried and sick |
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Big Audio Dynamite - Rush |
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Ugh. I fail at journals. Hahaha.
So, lately I've been sick again. Yep. Since Thursday night. Not until Saturday was did it really affect my daily life, though. But the weekend was terrible. I was already behind in a bunch of assignments for a bunch of my classes, and I didn't have any time this past weekend to catch up. I was too busy sleeping and being an ill little fucker. Hahaha. I ended up freaking out a bit last night, because I had a group project due in Speech class, which was to be our big panel discussion speech. Now, we already know how Alanna freaks out about group things, so yeah. Plus this is one of those pre-planned, BE-THERE-OR-FAIL-NO-EXCUSES-YOU-FUCKER, kinds of things. What I ended up doing was having mum call me in today (I'm still very sick, it almost seems to keep getting worse. Hahaha. HOORAY.), and I just sort of wandered in during second hour so I could do the Speech with my group. Unforutnately, beforehand, I wasn't able to sleep. I layed down in bed at about 11:30, and at 5am I decided "FUCK IT," and got up again
Now that was just this morning, mind you, and I'm sick as fuck, and didn't sleep. Heh. Two people told me that I looked terrible, so that was fun. I sounded awful, and I wasn't able to think much ("Mort? What?"). But, as it turns out, although our speech didn't go too hot I wasn't the one who did the most fucking up. I hate to say it, because Aaron is a nice guy and he seems pretty cool, but he was a totally sucky chairperson. I'm not sure if he even knew what he was doing. We had two topics that we were supposed to cover, and he sort of jumped into the HISTORY part and said everything that there was to be said, leaving very little for any of us to add in. Then he confused us (well at least he confused Tess and I, so I'm assuming Ross was a bit lost as well) by constantly acting like he MIGHT HAVE changed the topic or something and we weren't sure where the hell we were supposed to jump in. Then finally he went to current events and by then I wanted to pass out (you know, the whole being-sick-and-not-having-slept-in-20-hours-thing), so I ended up not adding much into that. We managed to show our visual aids and stuff, and I faked an interview with my Aunt. We only got ONE question for open forum and that was the delightfully generic and completely irrelevant "WHY DID YOU CHOOSE THIS TOPIC?" So that was fun. Then Aaron summarized the speech incorrectly and Tess and I agreed that he was a confusing chairperson. All in all, I am positive that we passed, but quite sure that we didn't get any higher than a C. As lame as that is, I can accept that much. Hahah. I'm just glad that I have that class taken care of for the week, at least.
When I walked home I was coughing a lot and mumbling to myself. I hung out for a while and then decided to get some sleep. Only... not. For some reason I just couldn't. I was feeling tired as hell, still really sick, but I layed down at about 10:30am and decided not to bother when 1:30pm rolled around.
So now I sat down and started writing this entry, and I'm kinda freakin' out. Not bad, just a little bit. I have to get Humanities papers done tonight, and figure out what I'm going to do about my unfinished sketchbook project for Drawing/Painting. I hope I am able to pass all of my classes this semester. I'm not too worried, but if I don't I'll probably stab myself in the eye with a fork. Or two.
So let's just hope my papers for Humanities don't turn out too terribly because I'm just about dead while writing them up.
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| Tee-hee! |
[28 Apr 2005|09:57pm] |
Okay, so this is me right now:
I've got a throat cold or something that's causing my voice to be nonexistant save for high-pitched squeeky noises.
I've got the most VIOLENT hiccups I have ever had.
And so, I am convulsing violently back and forth in my computer chair while making inhuman squeeky giggling noises.
God this is funny.
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| Safe. |
[20 Apr 2005|06:15am] |
I did it.
HIGH FIVES ALL AROUND.
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| Whoopsies. |
[19 Apr 2005|11:18pm] |
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mood |
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blank |
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music |
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Beck - Black Tambourine |
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I really need to get off of my lazy ass and update this thing on a daily basis. Jeez. Hahah.
So, anyway... Despite the fact that my weekend was filled with fun and sickness, I'm just going to skip it and head to Monday. But all this skipping shall stop soon, or I'll be annoyed with myself later on.
Well, wait. Let's rewind a bit. A few weeks ago, we were assigned a project in French class. I knew I was in for trouble immediately, when I looked at the group assignment. I was with a quiet student who didn't seem to know much, and then a dreaded partner to have... a fucking meathead idiot that amazes me on a daily basis that people as stupid as him can still exist past fourth grade. A stupid selfish fucker who probably can barely dress himself or breate properly without instruction. so, I was worried from the start. I told the members of my group that I would plan it out. Did I? Yes. As soon as I should have? No. I told myself that I would get my part done early. Did I? No way. Why? Because I'm a fucking idiot. The best part of all is that even though I gave my group members instructions on what to do for their parts of the project, neither of them gave me a thing by Friday. Of course, the project was due on Monday... I told myself that I would just do the entire thing over the weekend and leave it at that. Tell them that they're lucky fuckers that I did that for them. Did I? No. I didn't do a goddamn thing until Sunday night. I didn't come close to finishing by Monday morning. What did that lead to?
Panic attack. I freaked the fuck out. I got up late, I managed to stay home. I told myself I would definately finish it then. I tried to. Did I? Fuck no. Why? I'm a fucking moron failure fucking hell. Hahahaha. I mean... um. Yeah.
So of course, this morning was four times as bad. I kept telling myself what a terrible person I was and how stupid I am and I was shaking and feeling seriously overheated and I could barely stand, let alone walk or do much moving. On top of that, I was an idiot and took too many sleep aids/pain killers the night before, and so my body was already weak and tired. I even went so far as to try and force myself to vomit so I could fake being sick today. I finally worked up the courage to ask mother if she could call me in... of course I did so by calling her from the kitchen. Hahahaha. But I must have sounded incredibly distressed, because I'm quite sure my words were something like "I know this is going to sound horrible, but could you call me in at least for the morning? I don't know what's wrong." And she said it was fine. Hahaha. "I don't know what's wrong," was acceptable this morning. Thanks, mom.
So I wandered upstairs and fell into bed crying like an idiot and feeling terrible. I fell asleep and didn't wake up completely until about 2:30pm. I felt physically terrible still today, which made me feel less guilty about staying home... My head was just burning and my vision kept fucking up. Hahaha. My stomach, too. Anyway... So I decided early on that I would end up staying up all night tonight and finally set this shit straight. I should be able to finish the project easily tonight. And hey, it's cause for some mild hatred for one group member and an emphasis for the already existing burning hatred I had for the other. I'm interested to see what might shoot out of my mouth if either one asks me about the completion of the project. It won't be a pretty sight.
I just think I really need to work on my ability to let people down. No matter how deserving they might be of F's, and completely disregarding the fact that if I were to talk to Madame about it it would probably all be okay, I can't allow myself to let them down in a way that I would be a direct witness of the affect. I can't fail them because I am fully aware of what said action would lead to. My gosh I am a silly thing somtimes.
Anyway... so here I am, nearing midnight, fully prepared to brew some coffee and finish up this damned project. Let us hope that this morning will mark the last school-related freakout I have this year. I am quite tired of those.
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| .yllis era neB dna eM |
[11 Apr 2005|06:49pm] |
Stop Rock Videos (4:25:48 PM): DRIEW YLLAER TSUJ TON YLNO TRAMS ER'EW EKIL SDRAWKCAB KLAT NAC EW NEHT.
BenignFlotsam (4:26:34 PM): .ENOHP EHT NO SAW I ,YRROS
Stop Rock Videos (4:27:25 PM): .SELOHELET HGUA RUOY ERA UOY ,HO
BenignFlotsam (4:27:46 PM): HAJdjaksf;io
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Stop Rock Videos (4:28:42 PM): YAKO SI TAHT TUB, ERA TON DNA TNAEM I
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BenignFlotsam (4:29:19 PM): .EUGA EHT TOG EVAH UOY KNIHT I
Stop Rock Videos (4:30:06 PM): .TUHW
BenignFlotsam (4:30:48 PM): ZUOY KCUF.
BenignFlotsam (4:31:05 PM): .ZUOY KCUF
BenignFlotsam (4:31:10 PM): .NEAM I
Stop Rock Videos (4:32:28 PM): GNIHT DAEH TTUB EINAEM GIB UOY .NEHT OOT ZUOY KCUF ,LLEW
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BenignFlotsam (4:33:34 PM): *UOY TA KCURT MAERC ECI NA SWORHT*
Stop Rock Videos (4:33:52 PM): .WO
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BenignFlotsam (4:37:11 PM): SEY
Stop Rock Videos (4:37:15 PM): .NEB ER'UOY SSELNU
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| Gigando Ovulars of Poot |
[10 Apr 2005|10:26pm] |
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mood |
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giggly |
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music |
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Elton John - Dirty Little Girl |
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This weekend has been fairly enjoyable, I think.
Friday was a lot of fun. After school, and after getting the news that we were not to see Sin City, I started up a chat with Savana, Eric, Ben, and later Zac and Clay. It was pretty dorky and fun, but meanwhile during the chat, Ashley was telling me that she was pretty bored and whatnot. At first this night I was feeling very homebound and lazy, but soon during the chat I felt the need to get out of the house. As soon as Ashley mentioned being alone and wanting to run around taping things randomly, I leapt at the chance to join her. I felt kind of bad, having promised Dillon that I would call him at 9 (10 his time), but I really needed to get out of the house (and Ashley's friends had apparently abandoned her, and I was not to allow that!).
I arrived at Ashley's house about twenty minutes or so after I left the computer. Her dad was there, but left soon, which is good. For some reason I feel really strange when her parents are home, hahah. So anyway, she was charging up her camera and I ended up talking to Ryan Tiedt online for a moment. That was interesting, if not a bit annoying (mostly due to his complete lack of spelling and grammatical capabilities online). Eventually, though, she and I got outside with her camera, and walked over to Lincoln. There was a lot of dorking about and the camera eventually died. We wandered back to her house and made some Mad Libs that cracked us up to no end. The night ended with an insane amount of laughter and falling over, lack of breath and overall fun. Ashes is so wonderfully awesome, hahah.
Ashley walked me home (videotaped the walk home, nonetheless), and I called Dillon up after having a retardedly sleepy conversation with him that I really don't remember otherwise, I dropped myself in bed and passed out for quite some time.
Saturday was very uneventful and consisted mostly of myself working on my painting of John Linnell and John Flansburgh. At the time, of course, I was pretty much finished with Flansy... but he looks pretty terrible so I think that I'm going to go back and re-paint him almost completely if I have the itme. Unfortunately, I probably won't have the time to do so. I have to finish that painting within the next week, or the art class will get unnecessarily pissed off at me. Hahaha. I just love that wacky Mrs. Ellenbecker. Haha, but anyway... I got a bit done on Linnell, and he looks a whole lot better than Flansy, which is my motive to go back and edit him later on. Linnell is actually turning out really well, aside from an irreperable mistake that I made on his mouth. I'm looking foreward to finally finishing that up though. Hahah. Maybe it won't look too bad.
The night ended with yet another silly call to a very sleepy and giggly Dillon, who was laughing at just about everything I said. It made me smile anyway. Hehehe.
Today was decent. Eric surprised me with a call this morning, which was wonderful as usual. He seems to be talking more, and I barely had to ask him to repeat himself. Hehe. He's such a cute little sweet thing, he is. He makes me happy. Um... and then, I went to Media Play with mum to pick up Savvy's birthday presents... unfortunately they only had "Locust Abortion Technician" in. So, what I'm thinking is that I'm just going to mail her what I have (because there's quite a bit more than just the CD), and as soon as they get "Weird Revolution" in, I'll send it straight away. But either way, I can't wait to get her presents out. I love giving things to people, hahaha.
Um, after we stopped at Media Play, mum and I headed over to Sears because they had a sale on paint. I ended up buying all of the paint that I'm going to need for my room. I'm pretty excited about that, and I think that I'll try to get it painted next weekend. Maybe I'll invite Ashley over to help. That'd be fun.
This afternoon I talked to Eric and Ben a bit. My computer was being a butt though, and I had to call Dillon soon anyhow. Something nice though, Eric spoke to Dillon shortly. Eric said that Dillon seemed quite cool, and Dillon later commented that Eric made him smile by doing that, and that he seemed quite awesome himself... which in turn made me rather happy! Hahaha. Anyway, I called Dillon up and we talked for 145 minutes apparently. Enough time for me to listen to Graham Coxon's "Happiness in Magazines" four times on repeat, hahahah. I was too lazy to change CDs. I really dig that album though (THANKS AGAIN SAVVY! HEART HEART!!), and I'm starting to know the songs pretty well. I really dig it. Anyway... hahah... talking to Dillon was nice as always, especially considering that the two of us were much more awake than the last few times. It's getting pretty crazy thinking about the fact that he's going to be here in just two short months. How lovely that will be.
Well... it's about time for me to be getting to bed. Mother had asked me to look up rental cars in Chicago for July (family reunion on 3rd through the 5th, which'll be crazy considering Dillon's going to come with us), but I'm honestly not sure where to look around for that. I mean, I know I could just google it and find stuff real quick probably... but I'm really tired, and stuff... and... things. Ack.
Allow me to go to bed before I go on too much of a tangent here.
G'night folks.
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| Goth Kid Photo Shoot, Take One |
[07 Apr 2005|10:41pm] |
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Okay, so... Last few days have been fun. On Monday apparently towards the end of the day some punk kid dropped a fakie bomb threat note in the hallway, which lead to us having half days on Wednesday and Thursday. Neither Casey or myself (or more than 50% of the entire school apparently) attended either days at all. This lead to Casey and I hanging out yesterday and today.
Yesterday was fun. I got over to Casey's around 1pm or something of the sort, and we sat around talking and debating what to do. Eventually we decided to hit the mall, after taking forever and a day to get a ride there. We just sort of walked around and looked at books and music for a while. Then we stopped by Sears to find Darius, but he was busy at the time... so we dumbtarded around giggling over how cute all the baby clothes were. We ended up going to eat over at Rocky Rococo's and had a fun time eating too much and feeling greasy. Hahaha. We left and went to see Darius again, and it was getting kind of late. We ended up finding him and talking to him for quite a while, with mostly him doing the talking. It was neat considering I hadn't really seen him in a long time. We ended up talking to him until closing time, and didn't take up on his suggestion of helping him turn all the TVs off, even though Casey seemed thrilled. Hehehe. Um... and so, Kay picked us up and we hung out at Casey's while making fun of Travis until I decided to head home at like 10:30.
Today was even better! Hahah. Today I went over to Casey's around noonish, and after a while we decided to take a nice long walk over to the Riverside Cemetary for some photos and such. We had a great time taking some real neat and somewhat goth kid kind of photos around the place, hanging out until like 4pm. She and I left and went to the City Park and sat down in the podium. We had some great laughs while just eating Laffy Taffy and such. Then, like magic, Beth called my cell and decided we were going to Perkin's! I got a kick out of it, we were there for hours. Beth is awesome, Casey is awesome, Beth and Casey are awesome. We just drank a lot of coffee and had a lot of bathroom breaks hahah. I got home about a half an hour or so ago, and now I'm just talking with Dillon and Ben... I need to get to bed soon, considering I have school tomorrow. Having those two days off makes it like "Wowie zowie it's Friday!" Casey, Matt and I are probably going to go see Sin City tomorrow. Awesome.
Goodnight ev'rybody.
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| Shoot Me |
[02 Apr 2005|08:30pm] |
Hay guys guess what.
I'm still sick.
Or I got sick again.
Or something.
Fuck.
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| Vo-mi-ting! Vo-mi-ting! |
[30 Mar 2005|01:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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ururghghguaghbugh |
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I am very very ill right now. I was much more ill last night.
I came downstairs from playing video games at like 7pm. I sat down near mom and I kept complaining about my stomach. It felt so fucking strange, haha. It wasn't a kind of pain I ever remember feeling before. It felt as though some bloated claw-covered creature was trying desperately to escape from my stomach, which had like constricted around itself or something.
After about an hour it got to the point where I just wanted to die. The pain was absolutely destroying my mood. I started to cry in front of mum, which I feel really guilty about. But god, it hurt so badly. I started mumbling about why everything has to hurt so damn much all the time. Hahaha. What a fag. Anyway... then mom put in a movie and I don't know how long it was, but it took me until AFTER the movie to actually vomit. I vomited three times that time.
This got me all smiley for a moment, saying "Wowzers, it's about time! I feel a bit better now!" only to be welcomed by a whole new level of pain soon after. I wanted to die, hahahaha. (All night I kept reciting the fitting lyrics from "Tryin' To Grow a Chin", to keep myself from going completely insane.) After mom went to bed I ended up vomiting again. Three times again, hahaha. I tried to lay down while I wasn't hurting as badly, but the pain quickly came back and I had to sit up. I felt like I couldn't even hold my head up, I was so exhausted... but I couldn't lay down or my stomach would hurt even more... but I couldn't stay sitting up because for some reason it just took so damned long to vomit. Hahaha. But I ended up throwing up again later on, three times again. And then again, twice. Total of eleven I believe. Although I still felt horribly in the stomach area, I ended up getting so incredibly exhauseted that I passed out at about 2:30am until about 6:30am.
When I woke up my stomach felt gads better, but my head felt like it had a lead weight in it. I moped around and although it was really hard to move, I ended up soaking in the bathtub for a while. That was nice until afterwards when I almost passed out trying to drag myself out. Finally I changed into a small amount of clothing and passed out immediately on my bed until about an hour or so ago.
Now I feel okay, but my stomach hurts a little. I'm far too scared to eat anything, take any medicine, or drink more than like a molecule of water at a time. I have a feeling I know where it'll end up. My head still hurts like CRAZY and my body is weak as fuck. I'll probably go lay down again soon.
I wanna be dead.
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| It all moves so slowly... |
[29 Mar 2005|11:07am] |
| [ |
mood |
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peaceful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Harry Nilsson - Lime in the Coconut |
] |
It appears as though journal entries for me are going to be less frequent for a while, hahaha. Obviously. For some reason I've just had no interest in writing about events lately. I have to fix that.
Spring break has been pretty good so far, although I feel as though I've been wasting a lot of time. Tomorrow I plan to go on a little drawing expedition. That'll be gads of fun, I hope. I've been really inspired lately to work on my art skills... I just hope that someday I'll be something good in that area. I really do.
Oh, on Saturday I went to Milwaukee with mum. That was sort of annoying, although I did get to call Dillon while I was there. Aside from that though, I had to color eggs with Mikayla and Hunter, and I had to sit around and wait for mum and aunt Rita to get their hair done. Eventually I just aimlessly wandered the mall by myself and wound up purchasing Frank Zappa's "Sheik Yerbouti," which is an excellent album.
Before we left for Milwaukee, I also back-ordered three CDs. I ordered Savana's birthday presents, two Butthole Surfers albums, and I ordered a Momus album for myself. So that's exciting. I just really hope that they get the two CDs for Savvy in soon, I want to get her gifts sent out!
Anyway... you see? I'm already completely disinterested in writing here. So, um... I've spent two nights at Casey's thus far over spring break. Last night she was sort of mopey about some things, and I felt pretty bad about it. I wish I was able to help her out, but it's really something she's going to have to deal with on her own. I do hope she feels better soon, though. She deserves to be happy like everybody else.
I am still apparently unable to take life too seriously lately. Which is good, I think. Nothing really upsets me anymore. I am actually able to just say "Hey, this'll all end well. Everything always does, so no worries." Hahaha. Wowie zowie. Go me!
I don't know if I'll get online at all today, but I'll try for later on tonight. Tomorrow I shan't be on until nighttime either. I want to spend all of tomorrow wandering around town, drawing from life. I'll bring like fifteen bucks so I can stop and get food and drinks at cafes and whatnot, and just... draw. All day. How lovely will that be? Very lovely indeed.
So, yes... I just need to start being much more productive over breaktime. I'm not too worried, because I really need and sort of deserve the break anyway... but I really hate knowing that I have so much time off, and saying that I don't need to work or anything. I need to be productive or I'll feel like shit.
Hope everybody's feelings as well as I am.
11:18am
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| I can see my house from here. |
[12 Mar 2005|09:27pm] |
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Wowie zowie, no journal entry lately! Mainly because I haven't really been online much.
A lot has happened lately. I'll make this short though. Fun recap time.
- I was pretty sick for a while, and I was late to school twice this week, but other than that school has been great.
- Wait, that was a lie. School's been making me incredibly and unbelievably busy. Tomorrow I'm going to have to work hard as hell on my Bio project. And a lot of studying for French. Thank Pete that Tess let me borrow her notes.
- Casey seems to be rather happy lately, and this makes me smile. She also assured me that after this weekend, calling her is nothing to be paranoid about ahaha. So we'll start doing things again, I hope.
- I got a new sketchbook and a new dead letters journal. That's good. Durable sketchbook, I've already got a bit drawn in it.
- Speaking of which, Casey wants to borrow my old one to show to this artist guy she knows. Scary! But oh well. Maybe I'll get lucky and he won't think I suck. Hehehe.
- OH GOD SPEAKING OF WHICH. Apparently GSA is going to use a poster I did last year for the designs for the shirts this year. I know I'm going to hate it, but I let them do it anyway. Oh well. I shall restrain myself and not stab everyone who wears it (save for maybe myself).
- I had a fun time on an art-related field trip with Ashley, Beak and Dani. Ashley is such an awesome lady, and so are her friends.
- I went to a concert for school and saw Christina and Krystal and everybody sing. I was really impressed with West Company and Kantorei. Wowie zowie, can those folks belt a tune and make it interesting. Christina's group did really well too, I just can't wait to see her perform in a group like Kantorei next year! She really is good, wowzers.
- I spent today mostly with Christina, as well! It was fun, although it would have been cool to spend some time with her without her mother. I get paranoid with parents around. Not to say her mom isn't awesome. She's actually a really funny, really cool lady.
- Chris Nitchke is back around. He rose from the deeeaad. I don't hate him as much as I hate Chris Braun, but I don't really like him either. He's a creep, and sometimes it's the fun kind of creepy... but he's also really really dumb, I think. He's fun anyway.
- Tonight I realized some things while talking to Dillon. We both did, I think. At first it was upsetting, but now I'm honestly a lot happier for it. I was able to come to terms with something, meanwhile strengthening my faith and trust in him. He and I... we're good at this. Heh.
- My body has been hurting a lot lately. End of that.
- I am now taking Creative Writing and a Study Hall instead of Advanced Painting/Printmaking next year. I really hope they offer it again my senior year. I really, really do. Ugh. But Creative Writing will be cool, apparently Kat is taking that as well.
- We're starting a new unit in PE soon, and I am paranoid. I hope I don't hate it.
- Aside from that one day, Lee has been pretty bearable. That's nice.
- I get new blankets and such tomorrow, maybe. Awesome stuff.
- Krystal attacked me with a tennis racket in the hallway and made me have to go back for my French book later hahahaha.
- My new name is Nun Walker. And Ashley is Jogger "Jena" Smith.
So anyway... To put things short, there have been some troubles lately... but I have still come out of things happier than I have ever been. I love things.
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| "That would suck a lot!" |
[06 Mar 2005|10:27pm] |
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Not much has happened lately. A lot of physical irritations, but I can live with those. Heheh. Lee's been pretty funny... he was strangely bearable for a while, and then suddenly today it's as though everything I do is wrong. He's called me useless a number of times! The awesome thing is that it doesn't bother me really. The really awesome thing is that it actually amuses me and makes me smile. I just love how he assumes that every damned thing I do is done out of some sort of need to impress or something. Honestly. Every outfit I wear is somehow me trying to be cool in the eyes of other people, every phrase that I use as well. Every thing I do is driven by some need to make people think something particular about me! Wowie zowie, I wish I was aware of what this was, because I ain't seein' it! I hide from most people. I don't like them even acknowledging my existance, let alone thinking I am something wonderful. Heheh. Anyway... I wish mother wasn't around, I could talk to that boy forever! At a certain point, he'll just start responding to everything I say in a sort of repition and mock-tone, smiling and thinking he's hurting me. It's the funniest thing.
So, yes. Lee has been thoroughly amusing, if not a little pathetic today. I got to call Dillon tonight. I actually just got off of the phone with him a little while ago. It was mostly the usual chat. Dillon being cute, me being ditzy, lots of anecdotes and strange discussions. Also some of the best bad puns ever! I got to vent just a bit of frustration involving other people, so that was nice. He's such a wonderful boy, haha. Dees is less than three.
Anyway. Tomorrow I need to draw a bit, and I really hope I'm feeling physically better. Ack. Aaaand... time for sleep.
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| Are ya prone to havin' blackouts? |
[27 Feb 2005|08:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The boys are jamming downstairs... |
] |
Today was a good day, for the most part. Mum was kind of upset this morning, which lead the majority of the house being cleaned by herself, Lee and me. I really only cleaned me own room, but holy shit did that need cleaning. Hahaha. It's really refreshing to have a cleaned room again. I'm such a lazy bum! But yea... now that mum's gonna be working more, I wanna start keeping the house in line again. I hate messes. Heh.
I got to talk to Savvy some today. The site she's making with Clay is the funniest thing ever, I swear. Um... she also talked to me a bit about somebody today, and I had mixed feelings about that. I dunno. Stuff.
I obviously am not capable of thinking today. That is okay. Um, Eric sent me some more Naruto to read today. I read it all already, damn. He seemed pretty amused by my reactions to things, and I wish he was able to stay around until I was done! It's fun to talk to him while reading. Hahaha.
Um... wowzers. Boring day, boring entry, boring me. I'm probably going to just throw some laundry in and get to bed. School tomorrow, afterall.
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| I'm having fun |
[27 Feb 2005|09:18am] |
1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (Name of first pet / Street you live on):
Molly Douglas
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather's first name):
Candy Sidney
3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant):
Corporate Harmony
4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot):
Ginger Nowheres
5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied):
Allanzo Milwaukee
6. "FLY GIRL/BOY" ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name):
A. Ric
7. ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen):
Strawberry Juice
8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School):
Bunny West
9. BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink):
Kitkat Vodka
10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived):
Terese Menard
11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician):
Starburst Patton
12. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: ( First 2 letters of your first name and the first 3 Letters from your last name makes your first name. Take the first 2 letters of your mother's maiden name and the first 3 letters of the city you were born in):
Alric Bochi
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